STATUS UPDATE :D

5 Nov

The challenge now is definitely simple – how do I make the most out of my every day.

 

I have been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease a year ago, and since then; after tons of blood exams and stiffening MIRs, am now one eyed and still fighting, graciously fighting my own ‘confused’ genes. Pain management has been a gruesome ordeal; I have to take steroids to combat my ankylosing spondilitis. Technically, since my anomalous genes are confused, I have higher tendencies of developing other diseases that might make my, well relatively shorter life span, even shorter.

 

There are days when I would just sigh and ask, why me. There is so much ahead for me, there has been a promise of a bright future, and there have been so much doodles of my dreams drawn. Technically I have always known I would be able to reach and touch the skies, in my own life story.

 

But the creator has plans for me, better plans.

 

In retrospect, I have been relatively well. We’re not affluent or relatively rich, but I have lived a privileged life. My medications are quite affordable, but there were (and still are) medical procedures that are really costly which I went through (and still, and would go through). Should I have been a commodity, am a little priced. I am a little hard to maintain, so to speak. All those, me and my family went through, and continuously go through.

 

So, my point being made is, my life is not at all so desirable. Should others know they might not pick mine to exchange with. But that doesn’t make me hate it. There are, believe me, times that I really do, but in my heart of hearts, if I would be given yet another chance to live, I’d still take my life. All of it.

 

For a while, I have seen my sitch as a hindrance, as a block and an obstacle I have to push and fight against. I was wrong. Direly wrong.

 

We all have our own problems, some big some small, some might cause them lots of sleeps, some a bucket of money, some, like mine, might lose their lives because of it. But that’s just how life operates. We’re born and we’ll die. The time in between defines LIFE. No matter how short or meaningfully lived.

 

So, here I am, hugging this ‘gift’. As you know, I can either fret and ask why all day – or make the most out of my every day. Am not dying any sooner, but am going to (probably because my liver gave up, or my lungs did, or my spondylitis won or my heart caves in – or I’d be killed, or meet an accident). Come to think of it, walang nakaka alam (nobody knows). So while the time has not yet come. What the hell, LIVE!

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6 Responses to “STATUS UPDATE :D”

  1. zezil November 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

    Yes! Live! Go! Take chances! Dance! Sing! Enjoy life. 🙂

    • Brent Tzu November 5, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

      i am doing exactly just that 😀 thanks

  2. myangligaw November 6, 2012 at 11:22 am #

    yah… life is indeed a mystery ayt? we can go on living each day planning for our lives, but heaven’s got bigger plans for us. it may come as a surprise that these plans may even put us in a lower ground, but God is God, and He’s got all the blueprint.

    distance and away from my comfort has taught me to live one day at a time. if people ask me of my future, i cant even say much. as ive told you before, people who know what death is, learns to live life in a completely different way. “no plans” included..

    life is short. life is uncertain. life is unfair. but life is still beautiful.

    so yah, what the heck, i can die tomorrow and still face God with a grateful heart for a life lived well.

    live. love. live more. love more.

    • Brent Tzu November 6, 2012 at 2:38 pm #

      live. love. live more. love more. – that summed it all 😀

      thanks ate for the kind words.

  3. Arcci Relloso November 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm #

    Hi first-debate-partner-who-turned-out-to-be-the-best-hubby-ever!

    This is my first grand, well not grand just public, gesture of awe and faith in you. You have always been an inspiration, from your creative writing to all your photo uploads and now your life experiences.

    I won’t pretend to know how it feels to have Autoimmune or be injected with too many medications but I do know how it feels to blame God for everyday that I’m miserable. It’s counterproductive right? You blame God, you continue to be miserable and get nothing done to feel better. I stopped and somehow I felt that I was slipping back a few months ago. There was no specific AHA moment when I decided to be better, it was more of OO NGA, TAMA moments. I really want to thank you for being a part of that gradual change in me. Every time I feel really bad, I’ll reread your tweets, remember the gravity of what you’ve been through and find comfort in how you’re holding up. Hindi ko man masabi sayo sa ngayon kung anong mali sakin, sana maiparating ko na isa ka sa mga tumutulong sakin na itama yun.

    Thanks so much Agom! Continue to inspire lost, confused and often bitter souls who need to recognize themselves in others and see their personal successes to get through a day.

    • Brent Tzu November 18, 2012 at 1:04 pm #

      i was way too focussed on my fashion blog my fwend that it took me DAYSSSSSS to open this personal site. thanks for the kind words babe 🙂 | i have not been the best me during the times we were together, so i look forward to being with you again 🙂 the world is for us to conquer my fwend. it’s how we make of our lives that would define whether we would be winners ( at our own rights) or mere circumstances in the life of the universe. 😀 i believe in you too, alam mo yan, am very picky really with ‘friends’ i have lots, but i have few REAL ONES, thanks for being among those few. i love you agom! ( i sound cheesy, hahha, but i do) :* | p.s. my fashion blog is open for your comments too 🙂 hahahah

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